What not to say......

Living with scoliosis and chronic back pain, it amazes me what people will say when they discover my twisted truth.  First let me say that I’m fortunate that doctors were able to steady my curve when I was young.  My curve is not very noticeable, especially when wearing clothes.  Even though you can't see it, it's still a 32 degree curve.  When I tell someone I have scoliosis , one comment that I always hear is “oh, you don’t look like you do.”  Another one is “I have a slight curve myself.”  This is when typically when my expression goes blank.  Hear me out, 10 out 9 times that person truly has a significant curve like myself and the rest I discover don’t after further discussion.  The one comment that stand out not only to me, but to others who have pain is “It’s can’t be too bad since you look so good and so active.”  Sadly, yes statements like this are made all the time.  I personally understand that a person is trying to be uplifting, though it can come across different to the person who is having the pain.

Here is a list of a few things to NOT say to someone dealing with chronic pain:

• You need to change your diet and try this one.
• You're just being lazy
• It’s all in your head.
• Maybe you should get up and go exercise .
• If you focused on something else you would feel better.
• Suck it up, everyone has pain.
• Sit up straight.
• You are always in pain!!!
• Have you seen a doctor?
• Have you taken anything?
• You couldn’t possibly be in that much pain.
• You don’t look like your in pain!

If you are dealing with chronic pain, you can probably relate to some of these comments.  If you don't suffer from chronic pain, then just keep in mind that sometimes just having someone willing to listen can be the best thing.